Attack of the Killer Sewing Machine

NEWS FLASH!! NEWS FLASH!!

Brother Sewing Machine is CHARGED with criminal offence of “unprovoked assault with a dangerous sharp object inflicting a penetrating wound with the intent to cause serious injury”.

Thursday evening did not go as planned for me – home alone with my 2 fur babies while Dear hubby at work. So I pop into a comfortable nightie (for comfort wearing an Ahhh Bra).

Dogs steak in oven cooking, dishes soaking in sink ready to be washed, hot coffee freshly made.

Then it all went pear-shaped. 

I was sewing a fishing rod sock for Steve & OOPS..... the machine needle came down & went through my left thumb. There was NO movement it was firmly wedged tight between the machine bed & the top of the shaft. ARGH…what will I do? 

As tears streamed down my cheeks, I carried the heavy machine with my right arm through the machine “throat” to get to a dresser to use the house phone to call 000. 

“please stay on the line” …”are you breathing normally?”

“can you unlock the front door”……. NO I’m connected to a sewing machine & if I turn the power off I am not sure if the needle will go further deep into my thumb”. 

“If you cannot unlock the door then we need the Firies to break into your house”.

"Please do not eat or drink in case you need surgery".

WHAT - I have totally lost my appetite and thirst.

I manage to carry the machine to edge of kitchen, the electric cord stretched as far as it could, open a drawer & get the spare garage remote control. Phew!!!!!...No Firies needed. No doors to break down.

“can you lock up any small animals?” …….”NO NO NO”

QAS arrived – both dogs barking like crazy, only little Flynn in the house, "tell me if the garage is open as I cannot see or hear from where I am."

“HMM.... we may need the Firies” say the Ambos – I give instructions on how to unscrew the needle, although it will remain in finger. They give me the “green analgesic tube to suck” – gosh that is a bitter taste.

Thumb is throbbing like crazy. All good the needle is unscrewed, they hand turn the wheel & my left thumb is released. Freedom at last. OH OH what is that piece of shiny metal sticking out of my thumb.

They allow me to get dressed, lock the house, turn off oven, get my purse, then I sit in the back of the ambulance.

QAS Officer starts taking personal details – “was this an assault” (YES by a sewing machine)

“was this a suicide attempt” (NO, I was cooking steak for dogs, and was future planning)

“was this a result of aggression” – NO only by the machine.

QAS are about to drive off & I say “we have visitors” – the Fire Truck has pulled up behind the Ambulance.

A laugh had by all – including me, although thumb still throbbing.

Arrive at Hospital (YEP the one I work at). They give me an Endone for pain – WOW – they certainly relieved the throbbing & left me light-headed. Sat back in the waiting room starting to nod off. They give me a Tetanus booster – that has left my Right arm like a “dead arm”

Called in for an X-Ray, see a Doctor in the “GP-type area”, she used to be a Pharmacist. She removes the offending eye of the needle. I get a dressing, instructions and get a taxi home. Right arm weighed a ton the next day…...grrr!!!